had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
