I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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