I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
