i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
