I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
