Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
