My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize