Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
