My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
