Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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