i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
