he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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