she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
