Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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