I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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