Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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