HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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