Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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