I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
