Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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