No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so let's talk penis.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
