Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
