Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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