Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
