You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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