You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's always time for handjobs
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize