she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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