Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize