that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
