I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
