By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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