Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
