just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
