Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
