the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
