yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My feet surprised me
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