Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
