Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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