Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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