question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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