The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
the day after is always just damage control
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
