He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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