it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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