that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
