That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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