Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize