the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
