Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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