I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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