dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
