There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
