dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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