your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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