Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
