Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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