I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
