Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize