It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
