Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
