If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I love how my cats smell like pot.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
