White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
