Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
