So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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