dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize