Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
