She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
This is the high leading the old right now
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
