Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
