A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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