But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
