I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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